I have a thing about release..pain
I am hoping to save and get my next tattoo which I enjoy them so much and have several. Of course they are not cheap and so I will be saving money up for one. We have gotten started on the house and I would much rather be moving into it than getting a tattoo so I will wait. I must say though as I save for the money I will have to decide which one I will get first. I have spots picked out and what I want it is just what I will decide to get first!
It seems that I have been going through a rough time lately and I can not figure out why. I know that I have been working long hours on top of going to school. Plus stressing about the house when I have no control over the house so of course, I will stress over it and have no control. Why is it that most people want to stress and control the things that we have absolutely no way to control? I have been pondering on a lot of things lately and not really sure if that means anything or not. I normally am just like a machine I keep going with no questions but I have been thinking more of future and present and how things are and what is making them the way they are. It is not questioning God, just trying to get a better understanding of why things are what they are.
I get to school and then a girl approaches me and says hey Joe and I looked like this person is crazy..It is my cousin Erin who I was very close to growing up. The Lord has a plan for us I am sure of it and maybe I needed to have more of my family in my life right now. We will see what is to come Lord you have shown me yet again you are King of Kings
We know own a house. It is our first house and we are really excited. The Lord has blessed us with the friends and people who have made this house and Home. We will be finishing the house and hopefully moving in by the end of the year! Praise God for the many blessings!
I will be leaving to go on vacation on Thursday of this week! I am quite excited about it I will be gone for a week and I will be far away from work. I do feel like I need a break! Excited to be in the mountains with my wife just relaxing and enjoying the time we have together!!
I am not really sure of this sociology class. I do pray that I am able to make an A in this class. The class is large and I honestly do not care for the people that much.
We have made a bid on the house of our dreams and now we just wait to hear back from the bank. Lord please allow this paperwork to go fast!
I have gotten a CAT scan and they tell me I have nothing wrong with me however, I have been in pain so now I have to see a neurologist. I am kinda unsure how to take this news. I know that I will pray just like always. I do thank the Lord for all that I do have and the things that I will have.
I start back to school tomorrow and I must say that I will miss my time with my wife however, I have one more year and I will be done Praise the Lord! Of course I have not decided if I will go back after I get my associates but we will see.
Ms. Ponder and I hosted a Fan Party at the park we had a blast. I have said I will be talking a lot of dance and fanning well here are some pictures of that day. Note that the cops were called because the people said the music was to loud and the cops did not!! Also the little boy came after the cops and danced his heart out that day was amazing all because that small boy was able to catch a beat and not care that is what dance is about!! Rumi said “Whosoever knowth the power of dance, dwellth in God”
I have told everyone that I was only going to get one more piercing and be done for good..I would like it noted that I have had “hundreds” of piercings and never had any problems at all. However I was taught a lesson on my last one due to it not healing correctly so you go to the hospital to get the bleeding to stop. All the while you wonderful wife in there with you up late in the hospital due to your own dumb choices as she horse laughs at you as they wrap your head…And I do mean horse laugh nearly pees on herself from laughing at me so hard.
I hope ya’ll enjoy these pictures. 
I guess I should have explained what I have done with my tattoos. I have halved my body for the left side to stand for my past where as the right side is for the present. My past was full of hurt, tears, drugs, and more hurt! My present is filled with my amazing wife, friends, sobriety, dreams, love, hope, a future.
This tattoo was to let go of some past hurt. The Hebrew writing says: “My Chains are Gone” which is from Amazing Grace.
Each day I learn more about myself which most people never learn about themselves due to there busy life or ego. The trials that I myself have been through have thought me to be hard hearted however, that is not the way God intended us to be. Tonight as I was shown my problem my hands lifted to the most high and I was given understanding of some things in my life that need work. I always try to work on myself so that I may better serve the Lord even though of course I do sin cause well I am human. I have had some people come into my life lately who I am not sure why they are in my life but I do feel good about that. I have parts of me that were shattered come back together. Praise God for what he is doing in my life.
My best friend from high school found me and my heart is open to her and the kids she is family not friend!! Thank you Lord for given her back to me till you come to get us all!
Even though I am surrounded by people some times I feel alone. I need to get out and find me something to do like a hobby. I love my wife more than myself but I must venture out and find me something to do and stop being so dependent on her!!
We are now looking for a house Praise God!! Dear Father please let your will be done with this house we both have been doing the best we can and I could improve on mine some. Thank you for the many blessing you have given us!!
I have a serious problem not having a filter with my mouth! All my life my mouth just is a problem and I have improved 100% however, I still have a problem I do not understand why people will ask you for your opinion but do not really what it. People today can not handle the truth at all!! Every time someone opens their mouth I feel like their lying because they sugar coat everything. Which I do not, is it that I do not care, or is it I can handle the truth and i have no problem speaking it! I am sick of PEOPLE thinking they know best when they can not even tell the truth. My real dad lied all the time and he is a TOTAL piece of SHIT! Why can you just not tell the truth will it kill you? NO it will not! Be a man or woman and just say what you feel. I have to filter so much and honestly I’m tired of it!!
I have some concerns about certain people around me right now and I know that the Lord is leading me to help them but I am to the point were I have no clue what to do. I know that my past helps me when I see people going through some of the things that I have been through. But I need more advice I think. How am I to help? I do not have any clue right now I just pray the Lord helps me in everyway to lead me in the direction that I need to go!!
Aimee and I have been together for over 6 years and we bought a new big screen TV and it was the first big purchase we have bought. Of course it did not go as planned but it turned out just fine. I know that I make spur of the moment decisions but I also think that if I did not then we would never get some things. I love my wife and she is the most amazing thing that has ever happen to me but sometimes she should Live just a little and I know that I should think of things more but I think she should analyze some things less.
Since I have been home I have been having nightmares and fighting demons that I knew one day would come out. I have felt like I have kept this from my true love and I am now on the verge of breaking so does that mean that it is time to tell? Who is to say all I know is that I am so very tired of being tormented by this!
As I sit here in this empty classroom studding for my English test I am thinking how awesome it would be to just be sitting at home. But it is my dream to go to college and I am here. I soon will be finding a way to go to school full time at the beginning of the year so that I can finish quicker. I long for that day however, I think will I stop there or will I come back to school and get a higher degree? Who is to say now. I honestly hope me and my wife will be pregnant by the time I am finished with school. The Lord knows where we are and what we need. I have learned a lot about myself over this past weekend I will blog about it soon.
I told myself this would be my last piercing and I must tell you I have been pierced hundreds of times and never once had trouble. Well I ended up in the ER and I have been in pain for days. And Pain is something I have enjoyed however this was not the kind that was pleasant!! It is over I will never be pierced again! Which for me is a big thing. Lesson learned. I will post some pictures at a later date to show who I was compared to who I have become!
I have now put my wife on my checks so I no longer have anything that is mine…lol Of course she has her own account and we have the joint account…hum sounds like she has the upper hand does it not? Oh well it is cool with me I really don’t mind I just like to tease her about stuff..
5 years today I married the most amazing woman on the earth. There is not a day that goes by that we do not laugh together. I had a chance to speak with my uncle and granddad this weekend at the same time and I learned a lot from the conversation. For one, if you have a spouse that you can laugh with daily then you have found something. We ask each other questions over the weekend to just see what each of us could do to better ourselves (note: I won the game cause I had the most points)! I have to say it is never a dull moment when we are together. I do know that this little woman that the Lord gave me had time and time again saved my life and held us together. I look forward to more than the next five with her!
Am I doing the right thing? I do not really know what I am doing I would like for others to see that people who have been through things can come out on top of anything!! I work hard and I learn a lot. I would also every now and again like to play. I already do not have time for my wife which kills me. I do not ever have anytime for just me! I refuse to be a failure and I know that and the Lord is the only thing still pushing me! I am so tired at this point I honestly can not remember the last time I slept good. Will I find peace in the madness? Me and my wife have now this coming week been together 5 years and I can tell you I fall more in love every minute!
I just got the most awesome tattoo today! My wife watched and I think that is even better! I will post more on it later. www.tattosbyjacob.com check his site out that who did mine and I must tell you he is the only person who will touch me with ink again!
It is amazing how people act and react! If only people could learn to take a deep breath before they start to speak… Oh Yeah!! That would be me too huh. I am the worlds worst however I have gotten so much better.
This is learning…Have you told someone that you love them? Have you talked to your parents? Have you gave someone a hug? Have you prayed today? If you have not done these things, ask yourself why and then go do them!!
As you all can tell I have been very moody lately and I believe it is stress. Stress is something that I handle well until it gets to the point that I should just give it all to God to handle which is by the way the hardest thing for me! Is it for you? I know what I am to do and just let God handle it but it is so hard for us human to do and or understand! I have gotten so much better at it and I pray that one day I will have this big break through but so far it has not happened. I would love for us to find a house so that we can get out of this apartment. What a blessing that would be and of course we would like to have kids and well we are not getting any younger. HA! So saying all that just please pray for us cause that is the only thing that will help! God has the answers to all our prayers!
How is it that you are given one thing and then expected to know something different? Get it together and the sad part is that Math is my best subject.
Enjoying the fact that my childhood dream is coming true! I know that it will help me in the long run!! The question is though can I bring my GPA back up to a 4.0 by the time I am out of school. I am the type person who sets my goals really high. The first time I ever made a “B” was my second quarter of college. It was horrible. But I think everyone should use school as a place to learn and learn some more I am always on the kids that come into my store. That school is the most important thing they will ever do in the entire life. I pray that my kids are the same way. Speaking of kids….well that is another blog in itself. :)
I will be taken to the drive-in movies by my wife on a date to see X-Men and the Fast and the furious. How awesome is that!! So I am sure that I will be so full of snacks that I will gain a few by tonight. Also the goal is not to fall asleep this time which last time we both fell asleep and missed the movie Iron Man which now it is so funny cause 10p is passed our bed time so the goal is to stay awake and just enjoy our time together. I am also backing a cake for our small group. Did you know I make the best cakes?
My wife is taking me to the drive in tonight to see X-Men and Fast and the Furious. How exciting is that!
Giving is not something you do to get something in return it is something you do to get nothing in return!
